


The Biggest Decision

by AceCade (puppyfacedbrokenboys)



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Family, Future Fic, M/M, Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-12 20:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppyfacedbrokenboys/pseuds/AceCade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah comes home from work ready to relax for the weekend with his husband, Blaine, only to have the biggest decision of their lives sprung on him. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes—oh crap.</p><p>[Unfinished; permanent hiatus]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Decision

**Author's Note:**

> Future and Married!Plaine with a side of Rachel.

"Babe, you home?" Noah Puckerman called from the small foyer of the townhouse that he owned with his husband, Blaine Puckerman. The thought of them being husbands still made Noah's stomach flip in happiness as a small smile curled his lips, and they had been married for almost five years. In fact, their anniversary was that weekend.

The man toed off his shoes before taking off his jacket to hang on the coat hanger to the left of the door. He dropped his keys and gun belt and holster on the table that stood, with a mirror, against the wall of their foyer. Noah Puckerman had just had a long day on duty at the NYPD and he just wanted to come home and relax with his husband and have a quiet night in as they started the weekend that they both had off right.

At this point, Noah had yet to hear a response. "Blaine? Babe?" he questioned again, a little more loudly as he made his way through the house.

It wasn't extravagant by any means, but it wasn't a tiny and dingy apartment like the one that they both lived in for college. It was medium sized, but quite expensive, and Noah thanked Blaine's parents day after day for being so generous as to buy it for the two of them as a surprise (well, Blaine had knew about it, so it really was only Noah who was surprised) wedding present so that they could "start their new lives together out right." It was absolutely beautiful and was not too far from the station, which was a plus for Noah. It was close to Blaine's Entertainment Attorney office as well.

Again, as Noah found himself standing in their living room after having made his way through the kitchen, he was met with silence until he heard the soft strumming of a guitar over to his right. "Should have known," Noah said to himself as a fond smile formed on his lips.

He crossed the room quickly and opened the door to the beautiful little studio room that they had set up. And just as he thought, there was his husband sitting on a swivel chair, short and messy curls atop his head with his dark-rimmed rectangle glasses perched on his nose strumming a guitar, lost in the tune that he was humming to himself.

Noah leaned against the door frame, watching his husband in his element. This was Noah's favorite way to see Blaine; it was the true Blaine. When Blaine played music, everything else melted away from him and nothing else mattered. He didn't have to be the gay dude that had to act straight, or the dapper front-man Warbler and congressman son, or the boy that had to hide behind a mask of happiness and a crap load of hair gel. When Blaine played, he could just be Blaine and Noah could never believe how sexy and beautiful Blaine could be at the same time during these moments.

Noah would be just content to watch him all night long, but just then Blaine spun around in his chair where his eyes briefly opened to fall on Noah as he sang out, "Baby, baby, baby, oh—holy shit, Noah! You scared the shit out of me!"

Noah had to laugh as he watched his husband scramble to not lose the guitar that was sliding off his lap. "Babe, I called for you twice."

"Oh." Blaine took a breath to calm himself as he rested the guitar on its stand. "How long have you been standing there?" he questioned, rising from his seat, stretching his body from playing for so long.

"Does it really matter?" Noah smirked as he wrapped his arms around his husband and gave him a very passionate kiss hello.

"Well, hello to you too, Mr. Puckerman." Blaine smirked up at him. "Long day?" he questioned as he led Noah out of the room, turning off the lights as he went, and led them over to the couch where Noah rested his feet on the coffee table as he let Blaine curl up next to him.

"You know it. Finally got the guy that was breaking into cars and stealing radios," Noah answered as he ran his hand through Blaine's curls. "Remind me again why I became a police officer. Kids today are just dumb. They should stay in school."

Blaine smirked up at him. "You became one because you were once one of those delinquents… before you met me, of course, and I made you see your dumb ways." Blaine's dig was rewarded by Noah running his hands over Blaine's ticklish sides and Blaine erupting into high-pitched squeals. "Noh, stop! I was kidding!" Blaine squealed and then kissed Noah to make him stop, taking his momentary shock to wiggle out of Noah's grasp to the other side of the couch.

"Hey, that was dirty," Noah pouted.

"All's fair in love and war!" Blaine sing-songed, trying to calm down from giggling so much. "No, really, I'm being serious now. You wanted to make sure kids could see that they could change."

Noah nodded, relaxing back into the couch. "You know, you are way too smart for me sometimes."

"But that's why you love me," Blaine teased and laughed as a grinning Noah slapped him lightly on the leg. He couldn't deny it.

"So, what did you do today with your day off from contracts and all that confusing shit that I can't even fathom how you can keep straight?" Noah questioned as he rubbed his hand up and down Blaine's leg.

"Not much. Just sat around, cleaned because it looked like a disaster area in here…" Blaine paused to hit Noah as a snort erupted from the man. They had gotten a little crazy in their sex-capades last night and had knocked over a few things. "Grow up," Blaine continued. "And then I had a song in my head that wouldn't go away so I went into the studio to work on it and it made me think about… things."

Noah sat up slowly at Blaine's blasé tone that was hesitant at the end, leveling him with a raised eyebrow. "Things? What type of things?"

Blaine shrugged, the smile never leaving his face. "Just about us…"

"Us? What about us? We're already married… we have great careers, a beautiful home…" And then, once Noah looked at Blaine's face again, he froze. The words that Blaine was singing before played through his brain again and it all came glaringly clear.

_First comes love, then comes marriage, then—_

_Baby, baby, baby._

"No." Noah shook his head. "Blaine—"

Blaine, still with that smile on his face, cut Noah off. "What say you that we give Beth a little brother or sister?" But Blaine's face promptly fell as Noah quickly stood up from the couch and over to the window that overlooked the busy New York street below. "Noh, what's wrong with that?"

Noah should be ecstatic that Blaine felt that he finally wanted to take that step with him. Noah, ever since sophomore year of high school, had always wanted to be a father. But that's just it, wasn't it?

 _Sophomore year_. Sophomore year was when he had gotten Quinn Fabray pregnant and he had tried so hard to prove to her that he wanted this baby, but she would have nothing of it. She alone made the biggest decision of their lives, without Noah's say in the matter, and decided that they would put the baby up for adoption. It had torn his heart out to see the little bundle of joy that could have been his daughter, Beth, being taken away from him to go live with another family. But Quinn had got her back, but of course she never told Beth that Noah was her biological father. He was strictly an uncle as he watched Finn, who had always been who Quinn had wanted as Beth's father, get to take his place.

But that was different. This was he and Blaine that were doing this. No Quinn or Finn would be there to steal his baby from him.

Noah took a deep breath and turned back to Blaine, sitting on the couch next to him again. "Sorry, I just… with everything that happened with Beth, I never thought that I would get the opportunity to be a father again."

Blaine's concerned face morphed into one of understanding in an instant as he nudged himself closer to Noah on the couch. "Shit, Noh, that completely slipped my mind. God, I'm such an asshole for using her to open this discussion up." Blaine wrapped his arms around his torso, running his hand over Noah's head in a soothing manner. "We don't have to discus—"

"No, babe, it's okay." Noah kissed Blaine's forehead with a smile. "I never really explained to you how much it hurts, and you just saying her name like that just threw me off a little." He sat up and turned towards his husband on the couch, sitting cross-legged as his knees touched Blaine's. He took both of Blaine's hands in his, smiling softly at him. "So, you really want to do this?"

Blaine nodded enthusiastically, his megawatt smile lighting up his eyes. "Hell, yeah! I wouldn't have brought it up if I didn't!"

Noah laughed. "Okay, okay. Calm down. Just making sure, after my freak out…"

"Noah, we can take this slowly. That's why I want us to discuss it thoroughly before jumping in head first." When Noah nodded Blaine continued. "I mean, we're married, we're settled down in a lovely townhouse and we both have stable careers that we love… I think that having a child is the next logical step for us."

Noah listened to his husband as he talked frantically, trying to justify his decision. "Blaine, babe, slow down." He rested his hands on his shoulders. "I'm not disagreeing with you. Hell, I've been wanting to be a father since sophomore year of high school. And I could really not imagining have a baby with anyone but you." At Blaine's look of disbelief, Noah plowed on. "I'm serious. With Quinn… I only wanted to be with her because of the baby and now that it never happened, and even if it still hurts, I'm glad that it never worked out… If it didn't, I wouldn't have the sexiest husband that anyone could ask for."

Blaine blushed and pushed Noah's chest a little. "Okay, stop with the flattery. Back to the matter at hand now that you're sure you want this—Oh my god, Noah! We're gonna be _fathers_!" And somehow throughout all of Blaine's thought process earlier that day, it never really hit him until just now.

"Uh, yeah. Why do you sound so shocked?"

Blaine shook his head. "Sorry, Noh, it's just… this is a big step and for the longest time I thought that it would never happen to me and then you came along and shattered all my doubts and… I'm finally going to get my dream with you," Blaine gushed and Noah was speechless so he just brought Blaine in for a long kiss, both of them smiling at each other as they pulled apart.

"Anyway, okay, we need to focus here. We're past being shocked and amazed that all this is happening." Noah nodded in agreement with Blaine's statement as he urged him to go on. "Right. Okay… um… surrogate or… adoption?"

"Surrogate," Noah answered automatically, shuddering at the word adoption. It was a sore topic for him, what with Beth and all, and really it was no guarantee when it came to same sex couples wanting kids. "Adoption is too messy."

Blaine nodded his agreement. "True… next order of business—" and Noah rolled his eyes at Blaine's business tone and was rewarded with a punch to the stomach "—stop. Who is gonna be the biological father? I mean, we can always do this again if we want… so it's not like only one of us will—"

Noah held up his hand. "Whoa, babe, slow down," he said again, which he was starting to feel like a broken record. "Relax, hot shot. Let's just think about one for the moment, because who knows how we'll feel afterwards. And it's not like we have to get this down tonight… right?"

Blaine chewed on his lip, shrugging his shoulders a little. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just excited and I just want to have a baby right now. We can think on that one. Now who—"

"Who should we ask to do it?" Noah interrupted, reading Blaine's mind. "I personally would prefer it if it was someone we know, someone close so that we can be there throughout the whole process."

"My thoughts exactly," Blaine agreed. "So, let's see…"

"No Quinn," Noah interjected hastily.

"No, definitely not. We aren't very friendly anyway." Blaine cocked his head as he thought, scratching the back of his head. Why he had always worn hair gel that hid his beautiful curls was beyond Noah. "Santana, as much as I love her, is a no because if her DNA and yours mixed, we'd have a hellion for a child… and I'm pretty sure she'd never agree to it."

"And Brittany is a no because… I don't trust her," Noah replied lightly, leaving out what they both were thinking. They loved the girl dearly, but she wasn't as sharp as they would want their child to be.

"Mercedes is another no because I haven't spoken to her or Sam since the wedding," Blaine continued, sighing.

"So that leaves… Sugar, Tina, and Rachel…" Noah counted off. "Not even going to try Sugar because I just can't stand that bitch."

Blaine gave his husband a warning look. "Hey, I don't insult your friends and call them hurtful names… even if it is a little true…" Blaine still kept in close contact with Sugar, having been in some of her classes at NYU. She had gone for a degree in Music Business just as Blaine had, but instead of becoming an Entertainment Attorney she had become a music producer. It still baffled Blaine's mind how that had happened, but she was very good at her job. "But, I agree, as much as it's bad to admit."

"So it's now between Tina or Rachel," Noah prompted.

Blaine was silent as he thought about each of his two close female friends, besides Sugar these two were the closest he had been with in the female department. Each of them were admirable women in their own right. Rachel ended up fulfilling her dream even though she didn't get into NYADA by going to Columbia and landing a role on Broadway as Elphaba in the Wicked revival. And Tina was a stay at home mom with three children with her husband, Mike Chang, one of Blaine's best friends.

"That's hard… Tina would probably never go for it because they already have so many kids… and to ask Mike if it's okay for his wife to carry one of his best friends' offspring would be awkward… so that leaves…"

"Rachel," they both said at the same time and failed to contain the smiles on their faces.

"Oh my god, it's perfect! Why didn't we think of it before?" Noah exclaimed.

"I know! She's the one that kept us together and said she would do anything for us! And she's thinking of taking time off from Broadway for a while and give her voice a rest and—and— _oh my god_!"

"Yes, yes! Wait, what, what's wrong?" Noah looked at Blaine in confusion, because what was that "oh my god" in that high pitched voice for?

"Noah, do you know what this means?" Blaine exclaimed happily.

"Uh, no? I'm not following you…" Noah said slowly, wondering what was going on and what his husband was talking about.

"Noah, think about it. Remember back in high school how everyone used to always tease us and say we should have been siblings because we looked so much alike? You even called us 'the Anderberry twins' once, remember?"

"Uh, yeah… and your point?" Noah shrugged. He wasn't getting it.

Blaine settled down a little, putting his hands on each side of Noah's face, patting his right cheek. "Baby, I love you, but you're kinda slow on the uptake sometimes."

Noah glared at him and jerked away. "I resent that." Noah crossed his arms. "Now that that's been established, explain to me just what the fuck that has to do with this."

"Relax, impatient one." Blaine kissed his temple, but Noah still sulked. "And watch your language. It's unbecoming for a father." Noah glared at him, telling him to cut the crap and just explain. "Okay, god, testy tonight aren't we. Anyway, what I mean is that she looks like me."

"Again, your point?"

"Noah," Blaine whined. "Use your brain. We are having her as a surrogate, which means she will be the biological mother. And why would it be good for her to look like me?" Noah just shrugged and Blaine hit him upside the head. "Meaning that the baby will look like me even if it's  _your_ sperm we use. How hard was that to figure out?"

A look of understanding crossed over Noah's face and he absolutely beamed. "Oh my god, you're right! It is perfect!" Noah, in a very uncharacteristic manner, bounced on the couch and hugged Blaine to him like an over energetic child that's had too much candy. "The kid will look like both of us!"

"Yes!" Blaine agreed, laughing and absolutely giddy that this was actually happening. Then all the excitement drained out of him because of what came next.

"What? Why the long face? Where'd the excitement go?" Noah asked frantically.

"I'm not backing out, baby. It's just… now's the part where we have to ask her." Blaine looked at his hands in his lap and whispered, "What if she says no?"

"Oh, she won't say no if she knows what's good for her!" Noah threatened and Blaine looked up at him with an appalled expression. "I'm not going to hurt her. Jesus, Blaine, I can't believe you'd think that. I'm just saying that she owes us for getting her through her horrible break up with Finn."

"I'm pretty sure that doesn't warrant her having to carry our baby, but okay." Blaine shrugged. "I'll tell her that we want to have lunch with her tomorrow, okay?"

And now that they had it all planned out, it hit both of them like a freight train how fast this was all happening, but they wouldn't change it for the world.

Noah and Blaine loved each other and they were ready to share that love by bringing a beautiful little baby into the world.

At least if Rachel said yes.

* * *

_"Hello, Rachel Berry speaking."_

Blaine gulped as he jiggled his leg in the arm chair that he was sitting in. Noah had to run to work to complete some stupid piece of paper work that was really important and had left Blaine alone to do this since he didn't know what time he'd be back.  _Damn you, Noah. We were supposed to do this together_. But Blaine couldn't wait because it would be rude not to give Rachel enough time in advance to make their lunch plans.

"Hey, it's Blaine!" Blaine, much to his surprise, managed to say in a normal tone. Like some friend that just wanted to chat and not one that was about to spring the biggest question that anyone could ask their friend.

_"Blainers, hey! What's up? Haven't seen or talked to you in a few weeks! How are things with you and Noah?"_

Blaine swallowed again.  _Be cool, Blaine. Dapper nonchalance, you can do it_. "Things are great! Amazing, actually. That's kinda why I called. Are you free this afternoon? We can do lunch and talk and catch up. Noah and I want to talk to you!" And he hoped to god this was still as nonchalant as he wanted, or that Rachel wouldn't read too much into it.

 _"Sounds perfect!"_  she replied, a little hesitantly if Blaine had heard correctly. He really couldn't blame her… this was really out of the blue.  _"I'd love to see my favorite married couple! When and where?"_

Blaine told her when and where and that Noah would hopefully meet them there on time, and that he had to go into work. She understood, and man did Blaine really love her right now. Hopefully she didn't suspect anything. He told her he'd see her later and that he couldn't wait before he disconnected the phone and promptly rushed to the bathroom to throw up because he was so nervous.

After he cleaned up, he felt a little less nervous but was still jittery so he decided to go for a run to kill time and then showered and by then it was time for lunch.

_Noah better be at that pub the minute I get there or so help me he won't be physically able to produce a child._

* * *

Noah literally hauled ass to the little pub that he and Blaine had agreed to meet Rachel at in hopes of not being late. But, unfortunately, Noah was late if Blaine's hard expression was any indicator as he neared close enough to where his husband was waiting outside the door.

"B-babe—" Noah tried to choke out as he tried to even his breathing (because he was a cop and that little jog only left him a little breathless), but Blaine whirled on him so fast that Noah flinched, catching Blaine's wild swing.

"I told you to be here," Blaine said through clenched teeth as his eyes literally looked on fire. "This is one of the most important things to do in our life and I asked that you just,  _please_ , be here on time and not make me go through this alone."

"Hey, hey, babe, it's okay. It's all going to be fine," Noah tried to sooth his fuming husband, who only just intensified his glare. He'd have to make a note to keep Blaine from spending so much time with Kurt, because obviously Kurt's patented bitch face had rubbed off on Blaine, and it was even more frightening. Noah put his hands on Blaine's shoulders and swept him up in a kiss, which Blaine wanted no part of right now.

"Oh no, you don't, Puckerman." Blaine pushed back and away from him, hitting his arms off his shoulders. "Your sweet kisses aren't going to get you out of it this time." And that was when Noah noticed that Blaine was shaking like a leaf, and it was not just from anger.

"Okay, fine. But, babe, seriously… you have to  _relax_." Noah rested his hands slowly on Blaine's shoulders, which, thankfully, Blaine let him do this time. "You're shaking, dude. You need to stop because it's obvious you're nervous."

Blaine glared at him again and scoffed. "And you're standing there like this is nothing. One of us has to be."

Noah would have kissed him, but seeing as his previous attempt didn't turn out so well he decided that a new tactic was in order. Noah, instead, rested his forehead on Blaine's, locking eyes with him. Blaine's anger was seeping out of his body and being taken over by nerves. "Believe me, I'm just as nervous as you, I just know how to hide it."

Blaine sighed, closing his eyes briefly. "Noah—"

"Shh, just relax. Focus on my breathing, see? Calm and steady." Noah made a show of taking deep breaths, eyes never leaving Blaine's, and smiled when Blaine copied him. "That's it. And Rachel isn't even here yet so there's no need to freak out. I'm sorry I was late, by the way."

Blaine pecked him on the lips, but kept their foreheads together as he continued to breathe normally. "I overreacted. You're forgiven. My nerves are just shot to hell."

Noah smirked at him. "Have courage, babe."

Blaine groaned and punched him playfully in the stomach, which Noah blocked with a laugh. "You know, I really hate you sometimes," Blaine pouted.

"But I love youuu," Noah sang in his ear as he wrapped his arms around Blaine from behind. "Everything's going to be fine."

"What's going to be fine?" a female voice interrupted the two, making them both whirl around to face her. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Blaine was at a loss for words, so Noah jumped in. "Oh, just… he was freaking out because you were slightly late. You know him, he's a worry wort." And Noah had the grace to hide his grunt from Blaine hitting him in the back.

Rachel only smiled, taking his word for it. "I'm sure. And you two never stop do you?" she tossed over her shoulder as she walked into the pub, Blaine holding the door open for her and then letting it shut on Noah.

"Nope. Never ending teasing here, that's never changed," Blaine replied smugly as he heard Noah's grunt from running into the door.

"Glad to hear it," Rachel said as she led them to a table for four with Blaine across from her and Noah in between them. "So, as much as I'd love to just jump in and talk, I'm starving."

"You and me both, sister," Noah replied before waving over a waiter.

The trio ordered and proceeded to engage in small talk as they caught up. Noah and Blaine told her all about their working lives and Blaine gushed about who he had gotten to defend lately, letting loose some celebrity gossip that Rachel ate right up. Rachel regaled them with tales from preforming Wicked, how Santana and Britt had come to the show a few weeks back, and that she was looking forward to working with Kurt after her time off in Guys and Dolls.

While she was talking, Noah had lightly nudged Blaine, who looked over at him to see him tipping his head towards Rachel and lipping, "now."

Blaine looked over at Rachel and tried to open his mouth to bring it up, but his stomach was flipping and he shook his head, sending Noah an urgent "no you do it, I can't" look. Blaine couldn't do this and ask her point blank, and with his nerves his "beating around the bush" skills were not existent.

When Noah shook his head back and went back to his food, Blaine glared at him and stepped on Noah's foot, hard. Noah had the decency to not make a sound, and if Blaine wasn't so pissed off at his husband he would have been impressed. Noah sighed and lowered his burger back to his plate before taking a sip of his drink.

"This hiatus is just want I need. I've been so scared that my voice was going to give out during the last two performances," Rachel was saying as Noah tuned back into the conversation.

"Are you planning on doing anything special during your time off? Besides resting, that is?" Noah asked nonchalantly.

Rachel thought for a moment before shaking her head, poking more lettuce with her fork. "Not really, why?" She took a bite of her salad, looking at Noah with a little suspicion in her eyes.

"Well, uh…" Noah faltered, looking at Blaine as he was obviously flailing inside trying to figure out the best way to go about asking this.

Rachel watched the two intently as Blaine nudged Noah with his elbow and gave him a look that Rachel knew well, his "have courage, you can do it" look. She let them both falter for a few more moments before lying down her fork and crossing his hands in her lap. "Okay, you two. You've both been fidgety ever since I arrived. What's going on?"

"Well, I—uh," Noah stammered before clearing his throat and clapping Blaine on the shoulder. "Blaine has something he wants to ask you."

Noah smirked at Blaine, and Rachel saw Blaine choke on his water before narrowing his eyes at his husband. It wasn't really an out of place reaction, many a time Noah had thrown Blaine under a bus if he couldn't do it, whatever it was. She, herself, just needed to know what was going on.

"Go ahead, babe, ask her."

Blaine threw one last glare at Noah before turning his full attention on Rachel, who was at a loss as to what was going on and just wanted to be filled in. Her eyebrow was raised and Blaine gulped at the sight. "Well, um—I— _Noah and I_ , well we… we have a favor to ask you," Blaine said in a rush.

Rachel stared at him a little dumbfounded as she deciphered the jumble of words. "Okay," she said, still with her eyebrow raised, "then just ask me then."

 _If only it was that simple_ , Blaine whined in his head. He took another sip of his water, then, staring at his plate, he just decided the hell with it. "Noah and I want to have a child and we picked you to be the surrogate."

_Well, I guess that's one way to ask… but where the asking part was, I have no clue. Goddamit, Blaine._

"What he means is," Noah quickly interjected, much to Blaine's relief, "Rachel, we've decided that we're ready to have a child. And after discussing it thoroughly, we have come to the decision that we would like you to be the surrogate. Only if you're willing, of course." Noah gripped Blaine's shaking hand under the table as Blaine's nails drug into his arm with his other hand.

"Yes, he's right. And with your hiatus and not having anything planned, and we know you just wanted to rest, but it just seemed perfect. And, I mean, you look like me so it was just the most natural decision and—"

"Boys, boys, slow down," Rachel interjected, putting her hands up in a stop motion. "This is just so sudden and all—"

"We know," Noah and Blaine said at the same time.

"—and, wow." Rachel shook her head slightly and both of Noah and Blaine's faces fell. "Oh, no, no. I'm not saying no! The opposite, actually… because,  _of course_ , I'd be honored to carry your child!" Rachel nearly squealed as she stood up and rounded the table to engulf a stunned Noah and a silently sobbing Blaine in a hug.

"R-really, you're sure about this? I mean, it's gonna be your ch-child too…" Noah stammered as he looked at Rachel in surprise.

"Of course I'm sure! Stop being so shocked!" Rachel said as she sat back in her chair again. "I've actually been thinking about wanting to become a mother lately, but with my chosen career as a star I literally have no time to date, and therefore no means of having a child until now so it's just… perfect." Rachel grinned at the couple in front of her. "And you two are the most deserving fathers in the world, so who am I to stand in the way of that?"

" _Perfect_ …" Blaine whispered to himself as tears poured from his eyes. He locked eyes with Rachel, seeing that her eyes were glistening with tears too. "I can't believe this—Rach—seriously,  _thank you_." And within a flash, Blaine was out of his seat and engulfing a now crying Rachel as they both squealed quietly.

Noah felt a little left out, and was thinking that maybe they should have had lunch at home instead of in public, but the tears and joy that he felt took over everything that he was feeling. As Rachel and Blaine calmed down and started to work out some details, Noah sat back in his chair and could not believe how fucking lucky he was for how perfect his life had ended up.

This was everything he had ever dreamed of and more. And as Blaine turned back to him, giving him a huge grin and a big kiss, he knew that Blaine felt the same way and that was even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna put this out there now. I have never been a part of a surrogacy pregnancy. Heck, I have only vaguely been a part of a regular pregnancy (my cousin's). So I did a little research and I'm just talking all my knowledge from health and psychology and applying it. So if things aren't entirely accurate, I am sorry.


	2. Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck has fears and he lets them consume him. But, luckily, his hubby is there to help him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when my Puck headcanon runs free at 4AM.

After all the crying had calmed down, the trio had decided to quickly finish their meal and then head back to the Puckerman townhouse so that they could discuss the process of how this was all going to go.

Noah had hung back, letting Rachel and Blaine take the reins of the legal contract (which they all were against, but it needed to be done as part of the process), and researched what the surrogate process would actually be.

Rachel and Blaine had sat for hours on the couch, a laptop perched on both their laps as they researched how the process would go. Noah didn't really want to know any of those details, and he was pretty much lost in a jumble of technical and medical terms anyway. All he knew was that he would have to shoot his swimmers into a cup to be then put into Rachel and then, hopefully, nine months later he and Blaine would have a tiny bundle of joy in their hands.

As talk turned towards medical screenings and a psychological evaluation, Noah lost himself in his thoughts. He watched how Blaine's eyes glowed in so much excitement that he himself couldn't help but be captivated by the sight. Noah was pretty sure his own eyes reflected the same excitement, but as Blaine's reflected upmost excitement and only a small look of nervousness, Noah was being clawed at from the inside with it.

No matter what he tried to do to stay positive, his brain always betrayed him. And this time it wasn't even the fear of losing the baby. He was safe from that in this situation— _thank god_ —but something else was gnawing at him. He was nervous because as much as he's wanted to be a father, there were still doubts in his mind.

Doubts of if he could be a good father… Could he actually pull this off and not screw this child's life up… Could he be better than his own father?

Noah's mind for the most part of the surrogacy and pregnancy were plagued with these thoughts, and he tried his very best to keep them hidden from Blaine. Blaine was the one thing that he hadn't managed to screw up beyond repair, which he still had needed outside help to fix. It still baffled him that even after that hell that they both had gone through—hurting each other deeply, physically and mentally and emotionally—that they still had managed to come together and get where they were now. It was all thanks to Rachel, for pretty much slapping him in the face and yelling at him that he needed to get his shit together and not let Blaine walk away from him.

But that was different. Blaine was his own person. Blaine had a say in if he wanted to continue to be with him or not. Blaine had the strength to put his life back together when Noah had screwed it all up. But this was a baby they were bringing into the world. This was a tiny little human being that was so helpless and open that he was scared that he would screw it up like almost everything else in his life.

Just like his own father did.

Noah groaned to himself and rolled out of the bed he shared with Blaine as those thoughts once again plagued his mind. More and more he found himself frustrated that he couldn't go to sleep without these toxic thoughts plaguing his mind. He put his elbows to his knees, hunched over slightly, as he put his hand to his face to rub down it in agitation. He really needed to stop doing this or he was going to explode. He was letting the fear and nervousness take over his body and was depriving himself of the whole excitement and joy of the situation.

Just then, he jumped as he felt a hand rub up his back, followed by a bare chest being pressed up across his back. The hand continued over his shoulder and down his chest to rest around his own bare torso as Blaine hugged him from behind.

"Sorry I startled you," Blaine whispered groggily, resting his chin on Noah's shoulder, sighing. "Now, what's got you so tense at—" Blaine paused to tilt his head towards the bedside table on Noah's side of the bed to squint at the time "—four fifteen in the morning?" He yawned as he rested his head back on Noah's shoulder.

Noah rested his hand on Blaine's arm, wanting nothing more than to turn around and ravish him. His warm body pressed against Noah's cold one made him sigh knowing that he really was not in the right frame of mind for that. "Nothing," Noah replied. "I'm not tense."

"Bullshit," Blaine cut in. "I'm drapped across your back. You can't hide it." Blaine hugged him a little tighter, pressing a kiss to the side of Noah's jaw. "I remember being in this exact same spot so many times when we first started dating. This is your 'I can't sleep I'm too frustrated at myself' thing. First you groan, then you sit on the side of the bed and wallow in your own thoughts, trying to grip your Mohawk off… but, seeing as you don't have any hair right now, you can't do that." Noah's body shook with a snort. "Anyway, just talk to me, babe. I know you need to, even if you don't want to. And I do know that, even though you try so hard to hide it, that something has been bothering you for the past couple months. What's up?"

Noah was very glad that he didn't have to look Blaine in the face in the position they were in because he'd have no self-control then and just… he didn't know exactly, he'd probably start crying openly about how fucking scared he was that he was going to turn into his own father. And he was not about to start crying over that shit. Of course he was comfortable to show deep emotion with Blaine, but some things didn't need to be reacted like that. And he would hate himself even more for letting it happen, Blaine or no Blaine. His father was a piece of shit and there was no way he'd cry over him. He never had before, so why would he now? But he did need to tell Blaine something, and it would finally be off his chest when he did.

Noah's hand slowly intertwined itself with Blaine's, a gesture that Blaine took as being a warning that this was going to be a tough conversation for Noah to have. It was Noah's way of anchoring himself to reality if need be and maybe even a way to draw some strength from Blaine to pack up the courage to say what he needed to say. He was still such a guarded man, and Blaine silently tried to pass as much strength and support to Noah through their hands as he could.

"Just… it's finally hitting me that I'm gonna be a father…" Blaine nodded on his shoulder, giving Noah's hand a squeeze to show that he was listening. "What if… and I know it's stupid… but what if I can't do this?" And after a breath, everything that Noah had let plague his mind over the past few months came rushing out. "My father was an abusive prick that drank too much and cared only about himself. He ignored me all the time, except for when he was hitting me. Then he paid me close attention by calling me every insult in the book and that I'd never be anything and no one could want me because I was a worthless piece of shit that never should have been born."

Blaine stayed silent as he felt all of Noah's anger rushed out of him. Blaine felt as Noah was taken over by so many emotions, and it was such a hard thing to watch. On top of it all, Blaine was shocked because he was learning for the first time how deeply scarred his husband was. And this baby was quite a big step for him. Blaine clutched him closer, trying his very best to just be there as a way to ground Noah in a cocoon of love and support and strength.

"I mean, I know I'd never beat our baby, but I don't even know the first thing on how to take care of one. Babies are these small things, and… y-you took Psychology… so much rides on the relationship that they have with their parents… and I just… what if I screw it all up? I screw everything else up unintentionally, so why is this any different?" Noah took a pause, wiping the tears away frustratingly. He wasn't going to cry, but he betrayed himself anyway.

Blaine took this moment to jump in. "You are not your father. I've never met the man, but from all that you've told me over the years and night now, I can guarantee you that  _you are not your father_. Never once have you turned into an alcoholic. Never once have you lost your job and lived a dead beat life. Never once have you showed me any doubt that you aren't going to be a good father. All you've done is cared for the ones around you. Sure, you've made some mistakes along the way, but you've pulled through." Blaine paused to move off the bed so that he was kneeling on the ground in front of Noah. He took both of his hands in his. Blaine wasn't sure exactly where he was going with this, but he knew that Noah needed to hear it.

"You are a good man, Noah. That is why I married you. You made some bad decisions, but you grew to be a man by taking your mistakes and using them to change yourself for the better. You are an amazing man and I have seen you grow so much over the short time that we've known each other. And you know what? You are so much different than the boy I first took interest in. You are so much different than the man that I grew to love so fucking much. And you wanna know something?"

Noah stared at their hands. He was so overwhelmed by all of Blaine's words that it took him a minute to figure out that Blaine wanted him to answer. Noah only nodded a little bit to answer Blaine's question, never looking up. There was no way in hell he was going to open his mouth to speak and risk hearing his voice crack.

Blaine let a huge smile grace his lips before squeezing Noah's hands in his. Noah had been playing with them slightly, having to have something to do with his hands to keep him calm. "I am so proud of you," Blaine answered in a soft voice, making Noah look up at him in surprise. His brown eyes shone with tears now, and Blaine knew it must have been pretty hard for him to still hear that someone was actually proud of him.

"Yes, I'm so very proud of you. You were a broken and angry boy from a broken home. When everyone saw you as just an angry boy that would grow up to be a criminal, you tried your damnedest to prove them wrong. Along the way, you strayed from the path, yes, but we all do at some point. We all lose track of our goals. But, what makes me so damn proud of you is the fact that you can take all those mistakes and channel them into the energy that you then use to work towards what you want. And that was always to be a better person than your father ever was. And that, baby, is what you are right now. You finally got what you wanted. And that determination to be a better person is what makes you strong and that strength is what made me fall in love with you."

Noah quickly surged forward, gripping Blaine by the back of the neck and kissing him as hard as he possibly could. He was speechless and was fighting so damn hard not to just break down and cry that he turned all his emotions into something he was good at. Noah was not an emotional guy; he was always more of the physical type. And so he poured everything he had into that kiss to convey to Blaine just how grateful he was to have him by his side through all of this. When Noah pulled away, only when air became necessary, he murmured against Blaine's lips, "I love you so fucking much. Thank you."

"But I wasn't done," Blaine weakly whined as he tried to get his breath back. His head was spinning and he was shaking with all the emotions that were flowing through him. It took him a while to clear his mind to continue. "And because of your strength, I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to be the best father in the world to our child." He smiled at Noah as he was wrapped up into his arms and pulled back up onto the bed.

At Noah rolling his eyes, Blaine pushed his shoulder. "I'm being serious. I know you're scared now, but once you hold that baby in your arms for the first time, it will all change. Don't hurt me, but think back to when you held Beth. What did you feel?"

Noah sighed, moving them both back to rest Blaine on his chest as he leant back against the headboard. Might as well get comfortable because this seemed like they weren't going back to sleep any time soon. He wrapped his arms around Blaine. Having Blaine against him, held in his arms, it always calmed Noah and helped him think. "It was almost scary how much of an instant attachment I had on her. The moment she was in my arms, I knew… I just knew that I would never want to hurt her, or have anything in the world hurt her."

Blaine grinned. "See? That's good. You'd never want to hurt her, so you never would; same with our baby. You are the type of person that will go to the ends of the earth to save your loved ones. That is why I know with every fiber of my being that you, Noah Puckerman, will not be a screw up father."

Noah groaned. "Babe, I appreciate your faith in me, but you can't be sure on that."

"Oh, but I can," Blaine countered, pointing his finger into Noah's chest, right over his heart. "You're just taking all your nervousness of being a new father into doubting yourself. It's okay to be scared. Hell, I know I'm not showing it, but I'm fucking terrified as much as you are. But I'm trying to look on the bright side of things because I know how hard this is on you.

"Trust me, baby, no one is the perfect parent. Everyone 'screws up' once. It's all part of the process. You just have to not dwell on it so much. Everything is going to be fine because if one of us screws up then the other will be right there to help clean up the mess." Blaine kissed Noah on the mouth. "You just have to love your child, protect them, and teach them the ways of how to survive in this crazy world that we live in."

Noah made a reluctant grumble sound in his chest, a sign to Blaine that the other man's words were getting through to him. Noah tightened his arms around Blaine as he sat there in silence, going over everything in his head and trying to calm himself down. Blaine let him have his time, pushing himself up slightly and turning so that he could straddle his husband's lap slightly and wrap his arms around Noah's torso. Noah let him, moving his arms to accommodate the movement; his eyes gazed over in thought.

Blaine was now face level with Noah from the movement, the extra height from the bed because he was sitting on Noah's lap, making it so he could rest his forehead against Noah's after dropping a kiss to his temple. He settled down, cuddling into Noah as he sighed in contentment, his face pressed against Noah's neck. He was just about to drift into dreamland when he felt Noah's hand start its slow movement of running his fingers up his spine, making him shiver. He was about to scold Noah for doing it (both of them knew full well how much of a weakness that was for Blaine), but was stopped when Noah tilted to rest his head on Blaine's and then he spoke.

"You know, maybe you should have become a Psychologist instead an Entertainment Attorney."

His tone was mostly teasing, and the slight tickle that Blaine felt on his side from Noah's fingers proved that, but he knew that underneath it all, Noah really meant it. Which Blaine took as a way of Noah saying that " _what you said really helped me and I just don't want to admit it_."

So Blaine just snorted lightly and nuzzled further into Noah. "Maybe, but you know I love to argue." He was answered with a light chuckle which he more felt more than heard. "Now that the crisis has been averted, can we go to sleep now?" Blaine continued, his voice taking on a small whiney pitch.

Noah shook his head and with a tiny growl he pulled Blaine up to him and kissed him fiercely, his hand continuing it's caressing of Blaine's back. And as tired as Blaine was, he melted and gave in and the two didn't end up sleeping until hours later in favor of more important and sensual needs.


End file.
